MerlinIsTheSecret
by bluestar87
Summary: Secrets are a part of Merlins life but when he foils yet another attack on Arthur he is transformed into his 11 year old self with no memory of his adult life. Will he be able to keep his magic hidden? Or are there even more secrets from his past that are threatening to become uncovered. This fanfic assumes that Merlin was around 15 when he first arrived in Camelot and would
1. JustAnotherHuntingTrip

Summary-

Secrets are a part of Merlins life but when he foils yet another attack on Arthur he is transformed

into his 11 year old self with no memory of his adult life. Will he be able to keep his magic hidden?

Or are there even more secrets from his past that are threatening to become uncovered.

This fanfic assumes that Merlin was around 15 when he first arrived in Camelot and would now be around 18.

Another de-aged Merlin, but I do love them, there will be mentions of child abuse and mistreatment.

There is no planned slash at this point, but we know how that goes, I will update tags as I go.

My first ever fanfic after being a long time fan, so please be kind, I am intending to release chapters

once a week so any comments are greatly appreciated. I currently have no Beta so all mistakes are

my own at this stage and I think it will become very clear that I do not own Merlin…Oh if I only did.

This is set in during series four after episode 10 'Herald of a New Age' spoilers for any episode before

and just in case lets throw in spoilers for the whole series. Come on though if you haven't see every

episode where have you been and I demand that you turn yourself around and watch them now.

On with the show…

Prologue-

The sorcerers would work better with names

In a small clearing, innocent enough, to men sat around a fire warming their hands.

"We only need to give this a little push" abruptly commented one of the men who, noticing the fire

was growing dim, waved a hand hand and whispered incomprehensible phrases. Suddenly the fire

grew in intensity.

The man, another magic user by the lack of reaction to the first sorcerers nonchalant way of using

The Old Religion, was slowly shaking his head. He did not agree

"There are too many secrets, things we don't even know, to fully predict what this action may lead

to. This could cause disaster for all of us".

"No! The king must see that there is more than he believes to be true and Emrys needs to know that

he can trust the king with all of himself!"

"This will be a test for both of them" breathed *

"No, this will be a test for more than just them…it is a test for us all"

The woods surrounding Camelot

The Prince had wanted a respite from court, no matter how brief it may be, and therefore had

arranged a hunting trip with his most trusted knights, being honest with himself his closest friends.

Arthur was riding ahead of the others with Percival, Gwaine, Elyan and Leon spread out behind him

with Lancelot and Merlin brining up the rear. Merlin would usually ride up by Arthur, all the better

to protect him and remind him of his royal pratishness of course. But his trip he was tired and not in

the mood for hunting, even more so than usual.

"Whats the matter Merlin?" Lancelot said with a certain amount of mirth, he new the king needed a

break and that that extended to Merlin as well, perhaps even more so with all the work Lancelot

knew he did behind the scenes, besides being a servant that is, keeping his magic secret wore him

out as well as his normal duties. He had already decided that, even though he knew Merlin disliked

hunting, he would try and help his friend relax maybe even try an enjoy himself at least a little bit.

"Oh nothing, I'm just tired, all the new responsibilities for Arthur seem to mean more work for me"

Merlin grumbled

"Well it's a good thing your both having a break now then" Lancelot dared state with a smile, which

promptly fell from his face the moment Merlins incredulous expression turned his way.

"A break, you are joking! Do you know how often these hunting trips don't end with bandits or

sorcerers or…I don't know someone with a grudge against Camelot trying their luck! Do you

hmmm!?"

"Well surely not all of…"

"Hardly any! A break, I'll be lucky to have a day before you all need rescuing from danger or

yourselves" with that he spurred his mount onwards fought up with the main group; leaving

Lancelot to merely shrug his shoulders and push on.

possible addition of normal scene

Thy finally died to make amp Merlins complaining had finally sudd in swing way all the potential kills

Arthur ho n of Merlins aversion to hunting blogging him to be too squeamish to handle the killing,

believed this to be his intention all along and finally relented as they happened upon a perfect place

to set up camp for the night.

Everyone set about their usual jobs, falling into an easy and companionable rhythm. As the knights

dismounted their horses and set about securing and bedding them down for the night, Merlin set

about starting a fire, the boring way, collecting water and placing out all the bedrolls. Obviously

Arthur taking priority in closeness to the fire and warmth and Merlin the least so.

Though Merlin enjoyed the company of the knights, especially these particular knights of the round

table, it did make his ultimate job of protecting arthur that much more difficult as when they

travelled together there was a distinct hierarchy in the placement of the bedrolls around the fire and

their prince. When it was just Arthur and himself they were close to each other and Arthur being in

literal arms reach let Merlin sleep that little bit easier.

Now he was a distance away from the main group but, he planned to offer first watch, icing him at

least some peace of mind. However, all of this worry was for naught as it was at the precise moment

he was leaning over his cooling pot, and all the knights in various stages of ease that a band of 15, by Merlins estimation, decided to attack.

If he had time Merlin would have rolled his eyes at being proven correct but as it was there was

immediate chaos. Arthur, seemingly, always at the ready, the amazing swordsman that he was.

Though merlin would never admit it to Arthurs face, lest his head get even bigger. Was quick to gain

his wits and his sword. He easily dispatched two of the attackers, the other knights after a moment

or two were also faring well and Merlin almost felt in-needed. Merely the odd mysteriously falling

branch here or a sudden fortuitous trip for a sneaking bandit to help an unsuspecting Percival and a thankful Lancelot.

But it was just as Arthur was too feeling assured of their history that the tide turned in favour of the

attackers, for it became apparent that they were not merely bandits but had another purpose in

mind.

Suddenly Percival, Elyan and Leon were thrown back and from Merlins hiding place by the trees he

could see Gwaine and Lancelot meet a similar fate as a man came striding forward from the forest.

Immediately Arthur spun round recognising that this man was the true threat as he must surely

possess magic! Instead of unleashing a spell The strange man dresses in robes similar to those the

Druids wore held up both hands, the remaining bandits still standing immediately halted their

advance Arthur strode forward, with all kingly airs about him and I are authority aiming his sword ahead

singling out the sorcerer.

"What is you business here? Why do you attack us without provocation?" Though Arthur suspected

he knew the answer as it seemed all magic users hated him with the same ferocity as his father. At

the sorcerers raised eyebrow it seemed he had guessed correctly, He had hoped to make peace but

these people couldn't leave evil behind them.

The sorcerer held both hands higher in a gesture of peace, Merlin had been slowly moving to be

level with Arthur, he could feel his magic thrumming beneath the surface, alert and watchful. And

though no one knew of all his abilities his history and experience had both his eyes and magic

scanning the forest. He zeroed in on the small flickering of the sorcerers eyes moving between him

and Arthur.

So he knew then about Merlin, that he had magic, but did he know that he in fact was Emrys? A

deep fury, that Merlin so often fought to keep concealed bubbled at the threat to Arthur.

Merlin had long ago learned to bury this anger and no one was the wiser. Everything remained still

and tense.

Finally Arthur could stand it no more, he could see Percival and the other fallen knights slowly begin

to regain their footing but he could also see Merlin inching closer, the fool, would just be getting in

the way.

"I asked you why you attacked us and I demand that you answer me!" Arthurs voiced forcefully

projected around the clearing.

"Demand…I mean no harm really" began the stranger almost quizzically "I am Ander"

Arthur almost laughed and could he Gwaine mutter under his breath

"You've got a funny way of showing it!" Mirroring Arthurs feelings.

"If you mean us no harm then why attack us? What is your purpose here?" Arthur agin demanded

for the first time his resolve wavering, could this possibly be a coincidence? A misunderstanding? It

wouldn't be the first time they had unwittingly stumbled across something sacred. Arthur well

remembered Elyan's own brush with ignorance angering The Old Religion and almost paying the

dearest price.

Maybe this could be resolved. These thoughts and worries flitted across Arthurs face as he slowly

began to lower his sword.

He was not he father! He needed to start showing it.

The sorcerer took this as a good sign taking a step further, but before he could advance closer to

Arthur he saw Merlin slowly shake his head. There were two dangers here and though Merlin was as

kin he needed to tread carefully


	2. Sorcerers attackwhats new!

Chapter 2 

Sorcerers Attack … What's New? 

_There were two dangers here and though Merlin was as kin he needed to tread carefully._

Ander paused and Arthur believed he could see uncertainty, he hoped again that this was just a chance encounter, though they were the ones who had been initially attacked he reminded himself.

"I truly mean no harm" Ander still had his hands raised in a peaceful gesture moving ever closer. He had to time this right he thought not only to achieve his aim but to escape in tact, though he was prepared to pay the ultimate price to see this plan through to completion.

To Arthur's point of view the situation seemed to calm but once more the sorcerer uttered

"I mean no harm and to Arthur's ears it seemed to be said in sorrow. Then a number of things seemed to happen at once; Ander surged forward, hand outstretched, the knights leaped into action, Arthur began to raise his own sword and Merlin, that idiot, instead of taking cover dove in front of Arthur.

There was a blue green flash and a crack like a small thunderstorm and everyone shielded their eyes. When Arthur looked back again and the after images had mostly cleared from his vision he scanned the clearing, sword still raised as his training allowed him to do, but he could only see his knights doing the same "Knights!" One by one they responded

"Here"-Leon

"Here"-Percival, they continued on in this way till all the knights were accounted for, Elyan had sustained a small abrasion to his head and Percival had received a blade wound to his arm, all gained in the initial scuffle and not life threatening. Though they would need binding to avoid infection. Arthur had taken note that they were now alone in the clearing and signalled Leon, who as he moved out touched Lancelot's arm to scout out the surrounding area in search of the bandits and sorcerer.

It was then that Arthur heard Gwaine calling for Merlin. Which was absurd Merlin was right… Arthur spun around taking in his men just in time to hear Gwaine state the obvious

"Merlin, I can't find Merlin!" Before anything more than turning their heads could be done Percival called to the others

"Here!" They all turned to see Percival crouch over a pile of very familiar clothing and at first Arthur featured the worst but upon closer inspection he realised that it was just clothing… What he and the others very quickly realised is that the 'bundle' moved. Well stirred is the only description that seemed to fit the situation, that all began to inch forward only to draw back, on instinct raising their swords, as what first appeared to be rags suddenly and fluidly raised itself into a short but steadfast and defensive stance, arms held just in front of him and eyes darting around the clearing and Arthur could see that they seemed to hold no recognition. And, though he was now much shorter and it appeared to be young as well, this was most assuredly their Merlin only now he appeared before them as a slimmer, if that was possible, very young man; possibly only 11 or 12 summers.

Arthur was obviously shocked and also hurt at the unfamiliar way Merlin now looked at him, though he would never admit it. The knights and Arthur shared a look and then Gwaine, why is it always Gwaine, took a few steps forward and Merlin's eyes snapped to him, in faster attention then Arthur had ever witnessed the manservant display.

This clearly shocked Gwaine as well as his steps faltered and he raised his hands, moving no further forward, to show no harm was meant. But almost at the same time Merlin himself raised his hands and seemed to shrink in size and move back. The movement was subtle but had the effect of making Merlin look smaller and younger still. Arthur noticed this and also that Merlin did not seem surprised by his size, only his surroundings and unfortunately all of them.

Arthur took in how scared Merlin seemed to be and took careful steps forwards, sheathing his sword and raising his own hands in the same peaceful gesture. "Merlin do you know us?" He needed Merlin to respond though he feared he already knew the answer. As Merlin's eyes continued to dart around the men, finally settling on Arthur, he seemed genuinely scared, but also calculating…

Arthur's own eyes narrowed as he awaited his answer. Merlin took a careful, soundless, step forward, licking and then biting his lips in a nervous gesture and shyly looking down replied

"No sire, I don't know you or where I am" so softly it took all the men back as none of them had ever heard Merlin speak so demurely and defferentially before, so wholly out of character. Arthur reasoned that maybe it was the result of Merlins now age, after all none of them had known him till his arrival in Camelot. Looking round at his men and seeing that they were deferring to Arthur with what to do next and how to proceed, even Gawain. What did he know about children, beyond ordering the stable boys and message runner around the castle. Keeping with the charade for now, so as not to scare his young servant/friend, Arthur indicated to the others to sheath their own swords and asked in what he hoped was a suitable voice for conversing with children you weren't ordering around.

"I am Arthur (he thought better of using his full title for now), what is your name?" Merlin fidgeted on the spot, knotting and in-knotting his fingers together

"Efron, Sire..um..My Lord" Arthur looked at Merlin incredulously and a surprised

"what!?" From Gawain showed his friends mirrored surprise. Did Merlin just lie to him and not only lie but expertly and with no real hesitation, as a child! Merlin who cannot lie!

"Right um…Efron". Arthur recovered "these are my knights sirs Leon, Lancelot, Percival, Elyan and Sir Gawain." Each knight received a demure smile of acknowledgement, the others being at a loss Leon took it upon himself to suggest that they make for Camelot

"And Gaius, My Lord"

"Yes" Arthur agreed "Mer…Efron, you should come with us, return to Camelot, our home". Merlin's eyes widened briefly before bowing slightly and as they made to gather themselves and the horses for the return journey he cast wary eyes all around. This was not lost on his once friends but they each put it down to a child dealing with a confusing situation, dealing with it quite well they would admit.

He did seem to be warily searching for something. Lancelot moved to Gawain's side and quietly commented

"Does this seem alright to you?" On Gwaine's raised eyebrow capitulated with a sigh "Yes, I mean other than the obvious, why isn't he questioning more? Does this seem like Merlin to you?" The two that had a very different but close bond with Merlin looked over to their friend

"You mean Efron" Gawain chuckled lightly.

"Exactly" Lancelot exclaimed "what's that about?"

"I don't know mate, none of us knew him as a child he was just wary" they shared a sceptical smile

"Our Merlin?!" Lancelot breathed "and he is not that much a child, 13 summers I'd wager" As Percival passed he added

"But he isn't our Merlin is he? Not right now" The threes mood darkened once again.


	3. SorcerorsattackPT2

Chapter 3

Sorcerers Attack... What's new Part 2

It was already getting darker and at Leon's suggestion they made the short journey away from the site of their attack and to a known clearing to the knight that would suit their purpose for the night.

The each secured their horses and turned to see Merlin standing, again, twisting his hands together. They had fallen into the familiar routine, which included Merlin readying the fire, water and food along with other duties.

Arthur took it upon himself to ready his own bed-roll, much to the amusement of the other knights, as he ignored the first step of clearing the area of stones and sticks.

Smirking they were going to allow the, now, king to discover his error and learn for himself. However, almost as instinct Merlin/Efron snorted and came over to kneel next to the king.

"You don't do this much do you?" both a question and a joke in his voice, at the kings look Merlin demurred back again and made himself appear smaller, suddenly the mocking smile was replaced by a wide eyed naïve expression which made him appear years his junior.

"I can help, I should help. To thank you for your kindness", this change from the boy they once knew to this meek stranger confused and concerned the men even more that the physical matter of Merlin's state.

As they all settled, gathering rations to share out, they took up positions around the fire leaving space for Merlin in his usual spot by Arthur and after hanging back for a time he slowly moved to the space. Eyes darting around the group before taking a deep breath as he sits.

Lancelot passed Merlin some of his food, which seemed to shock him, much to his friends concern again nothing seemed to be right with his reactions even though they were strangers, didn't Merlin himself say that they were helping him and he must recognise them as being safe.

Simple kindness seemed to surprise him; what kind of childhood had Merlin had? Given his friendly and giving nature they had all assumed he must have had a relatively happy past. King Arthur had more knowledge, having visited Ealdor earlier in Merlin's service to him, and knew his childhood though hard as all peasants and common man must be was happy. Lancelot wondered if his friend's demeanour had anything to do with his magic and therefore natural fear of Camelot, though he didn't seem too fearful.

Clearing his throat Arthur placed his elbows on his knees, bridging his fingers together, it was clear he wanted to speak to Efron? He couldn't even think the name and associate it with his servant. He did not know where to begin, should he treat him as a stranger child they had found or should he try and treat him as the friend he once was? After a small shake of his head he began

"So...Efron...where are you from? We need to see if we can return you home, though I want us to return first to our home, Camelot, we have been away for some time"

"Oh, a small place really, more an encampment really, in Lott's Kingdom" Confused, as Arthur knew Merlin was originally from Cenred's Kingdom, perhaps as a child Merlin had more sense than trusting absolutely anyone he came across, undaunted he continued on.

"I see, and your parents? What are their names, where were you travelling when you were separated?" Luckily Arthur was used to asking these types of questions, this time he assumed he would know the answers ahead of time

"Travelling, yes! But not with my parents" looking down and up through his lashes he continued "I am an orphan, both my mother and father died and I have been fostering where I can."

This would normally have garnered sympathy but all of them knew that he was not an orphan and had a loving and very alive mother!

"Merlin!" Arthur couldn't contain his shock "I know Hunith is alive!" It was an instant reaction to the blatant inaccuracy of Merlin's tale.

The knight's demeanour had changed as well, not knowing how their King or friend would react to the outburst, it was clearly not intentional Arthurs behalf. But Arthur only had eyes for Merlin whose head and eyes had snapped up the moment he heard his mother's name.

He leaned forward, squinting his eyes at the group before him re-assessing each of them, before finally landing on Arthur. Learning forward almost off the log he had been resting on he whispered

"Is this a test?"


End file.
